"HK, are you sure this is the right place?"
"Exasperated answer: Yes, C2. For the fiftieth repetition, this is the Lady of Pain's headquarters."
"It's disgraceful that we must associate with crime lords like her. She is a known enemy of the Republic."
"Musing: The devil you know is better than the one you don't, isn't it M1?"
"I suppose you're correct, assassin. It's just that the sight of organics like her make my circuits boil."
"In any case, this dreadful business will be over soon."
The three came upon a massive front door. After three loud knocks by HK-51, a spindly Duro yelled in a thick cockney accent,
"Whadda you lot want?"
"Answer: HK-51 and company to see the Lady of Pain, organic."
After a moment of silence, the Duro said,
"Right. Go on in."
With a ponderous rumble, the door opened and the three entered the voluminous palace. After weaving their way through a veritable cornucopia of smugglers, thugs and bounty hunters they came into the main room. At its center was a slim Rattataki woman sitting on a heavily bejeweled silver dais. Laughing at the sight of the droids, she said,
"What's this? New toys for me to break?"
After tilting his head side to side, what passed for head-shaking with an HK unit HK-51 replied,
"Answer: No madam, we are not your entertainment. However we come with a generous offer for you."
A smile spreading across her face, she said,
"I'm all ears."
Then the golden droid, C2-N2 shuffled forward carrying a large briefcase. It slid open to reveal eight flawless Krayt dragon pearls. However instead of expressing amazement, the Lady of Pain scowled and flicked her hand at the baubles.
"Did you honestly think you could buy me with those? I have a vault full of them!", she said indignantly. "What were you asking for them anyway? Money? Weapons?", she asked.
This time it was the war droid, M1-4X's turn to answer.
"No, madam. House Zoiji wishes to work with you as a...permanent partner. Your influence and merchandise are coveted galaxy-wide."
After a moment's thought, the Lady of Pain said,
"How about this? You beat my best men in a fight, and I take your offer."
"Deal", M1-4X said, his weapons already drawn.
Blaster rifle in hand, HK-51 said,
"Warning: While I happily agree, I should warn you they will soon suffer a painful deletion."
Laughing as if that were the funniest joke in the galaxy, she said,
"Don't worry, darling. I was about to kill them anyway."
At the snap of her fingers, alarms sounded and guards filled the room.
Turning to C2-N1, HK whispered,
"Statement: I highly suggest you make yourself scarce, C2. The body count will be rising soon."
Shuffling his way to the cantina, C2 said,
"Now that I don't need to be told twice!"
After a long, tiring battle HK-51 searched the cantina. Strangely, there was no sign of C2. Once back in the main room, he asked,
"Query: M1-4X, have you found any sign of C2-N1?"
"I don't know for certain, assassin but I think I saw someone unceremoniously dump him in the torture room."
Sure enough, C2 was there, lying in a heap of his own parts. As they left the palace after closing the deal, HK-51 turned to the parts of the protocol droid mainly the head and torso in a bag, and said,
"Statement: Once we return to Dras Edoc'sil C2, I promise you this."
"And what is that, HK?"
"Answer: Mandatory combat and defense programming. Even with my skill I cannot protect you all the time."
And so began the greatest challenge of HK-51's career: teaching a protocol droid to shoot...
HK-51
M1-4X
C2-N2
